Being Alive

I'm here, I'm alive.

Today is another day to survive.

The dreams cast aside, the holes left from this tide.

And here we hang on, attempt to enjoy the ride.

Soul's Memories

I sat here thinking

and suddenly it hit me.

Like lightning from a storm

you never saw coming.

How much of our lives do we spend

sitting and thinking

about things that amount to absolutely nothing

in the end?

I take my time to wander through these thoughts

in my head

as I wonderhow the future will play out,

the past already dead.

And it's all I have,

all I've ever had,

these memories held within my soul's open womb.

And I bled for you.

I birthed the world that you knew,

this chaos you put me through,

somehow I know I created it too.

And these dreams we've lost,

the hopes that have died,

they had my heart

held inside their captive mind,

this state of being,

the only one that's seeming to be mine

anymore.

And I shut my door.

The path to my heart no longer yours to find.

The way to my soul no longer divine.

The road that lies ahead is swift and narrow,

as you pierced my veins so long ago.

And this is the me you do not know.

The is the peace I cannot let go.

This is the river that shall never flow.

And this is the only way to my soul.

Divine Feelings

The clouds sit still in the sky,

as each moment passes us by.

And the dreams we once shared

have all disappeared

into the chaos somewhere

beyond these fears.

And I know that we'll meet again some time,

a long ways from now.

But until then, know I'll miss you

somehow.

I'm sure these worlds that we live in

are so different,

and yet should I not give in

to these thoughts?

I want to feel you,

to hear your heart beat so close to mine.

I know I need you,

somehow it's so divine.

My soul feels alive, one again.

As it did so long ago,

and yet sitting in this darkness,

I wonder if that light

will ever show.

Reflective Dreams

How reflective your world is,

encompassed within this streaming light.

How chaotic your night must be,

void of this rainbow of various hues.

The street light flickers, as you ride by.

And I can see the smile within your eyes,

the world you pass by.

Not knowing how many things you miss,

not caring truly, you've found your own bliss.

This is the world, this is the peace you see.

That any light in the world can be seen

as a reflection of this peace.

The happiness you find in such a mundane thing,

the world revolves as you will it to,

and you never miss anything.

For you are so unaware

of the sheer pain out there,

in the open air.

And somehow I manage to find comfort there.

Here Today

Here I am,

sitting in the same place I've always been.

Or at least been waiting

so many times before.

And here I am,

wondering why I'm not yet headed for that door.

I keep thinking you'll come through it.

That you want me somehow.

And still I know the air is cold,

the past we've left behind growing faint

in our memories.

And yet here I am,

still not moving on.

Still waiting,

just in case you're not really gone.

Worlds Left Behind

Here's to the world I left behind,

the one in your mind,

the one full of my lies.

Here's to the dreams you could never see,

the ones that could not be,

the ones you left for me.

Here's to the love we once shared,

back when you cared,

before the world was bare.

Here's to the hatred you have felt,

the hearts you did melt,

the chaos that has been dealt.

This is the dream I have dreamt,

the chaos I have sent,

the feelings I have lent.

This is the nightmare you did find,

that once was mine,

that you took from behind.

This is the world you left me in,

where I could never win,

and I learn to love again.

Being Nightmare's Dream

So I woke tonight, to see you standing there.

A dream, it seems, anywhere but here.

The chaos melts from the sky,

the worlds fading into this blackness.

All that is left is me and you,

the nightmares we sought have come true.

And this darkness we bred,

it is the truth.

In this universe of nothingness,

the light pulls us through.

I do not know how to explain

the dreams I had today.

For you were there, and so was he.

The blood that fell was not to be seen.

And the hearts are not the only things that bleed.

You found the night within the day,

the darkness in the blank white page,

the sorrows in the lover's cage,

this home became your rage.

And here I am left to stay,

to dream this day away,

to ultimately into nothing fade.

In this emptiness I will rest,

and in these dreams I see my death.

That your soul wins throughout this test,

and my heart bleeds at your chest.

This is the ending you like best,

this is the fate within your breast,

this is the chaos of your heart's content,

I am the nightmare of which you dreamt.

Dream's Future Nothingness

This morning I woke up and was afraid to open my eyes.

I didn't want the world to see the past hidden in my lies.

The life I've buried so deep, it aches somewhere inside.

And I no longer know what it is to feel anything alive.

My sorrows run deep and my heart pounds in pain,

my soul burns in fires of despair, lost in the land of the sane.

I do not know which dreams to hold, to cherish in the end.

I know only of this hurt, the fears, the nightmares the past did lend.

I close my eyes once more, this dream coming to a close.

And I find that waking up, I face the dread that I have chose.

My heart bleeds in your chaos, I breathe in your tears.

I drink up your vitality, and eat away at your years.

You choose my soul, not knowing the hatred I bring.

And I no longer know of the darkness I think into being.

I see only the dreams we shared, the future in ruins ahead,

the past wasted away, the moments already dead.

This is the nightmare I dreamt as a child,

the flowers of passion no longer free and wild.

You are the mundane life I held on this earth,

you are the spirit I sought for my own worth.

Your dreams are the envy of the soul I once had,

and your sweet memories are my life gone bad.

This is the graveyard of my freedom's bliss.

This is the sweetness of death's pure kiss.

This is the sorrow of my solomn heart's miss

as I enter the realm of ethereal nothingness.

Today's Sorrows

The days are dark and long.

Slow to come and slower still to go.

I don't know why I feel this darkness inside,

the emptiness that keeps me alive.

Some days I wish it would end, the darkness fade away.

But then those are just dreams, for look at today.

The darkness is something I so readily crave.

It keeps me feeling alive, feeling this way.

And those moments of chaos, exile from my soul,

they are the dreams I refuse to let go.

But I try so hard not to let them show.

For I fail so many times to be what I should,

how do I let you know that your dreams are good?

How do I tell you that this hatred and hurt I feel,

this empty blackness that is so real,

it is the life that I deal.

The weakness of my heart giving in to my soul.

My soul drowned in sorrows so long ago.

And still somehow I hold out hope

that the moon will come out and cleanse me,

that tomorrow I will be free,

that the lake will sit still and the river flow no more.

That this chaos shall never find a shore

and my heart will stop its fight

and give in to the oceans roar.

That this dream will fade into the night

and the nitemares will be cast away forever more.

Sudden Storm